Cryptic I Can Handle, But This?

So we ate dinner out. And then these came, with the bill. Little, wafer-thin barbs--the proverbial pill wrapped in sugar--made by someone who must have read Tolstoy:



Here is mine. I enjoyed the dinner. It was a nice respite from the "domestic attentions" of which you speak. Thanks for that.

Here's Hubby's:


And Daughter's.


And, Son's:

Deja Vu (and Paid For)

I just know I've bought this stuff before... at least once.

She Should Do Internet Security

This blog post brought to you by persistent jet lag (why else would I be up at 5am?):

Daughter, to Son: You have to guess the password.
Son: Cake.
Daughter: Nope.
Son: Hullabaloo.
Daughter: Nuh uh.
Son: Wrestling.
Daughter: No.
Son: Forest.
Daughter: Nope.
Son, leaving: Okay, well, I have to go somewhere and fart now.
Daughter: That's IT!!!

Better than MacGyver!

This is what happened today, when we expected the kids to entertain themselves. It's rather impressive.

You take this:

Then, you ransack the house for supplies. You put them together like so:

And then you hide it under a rug and wait for something to provide pressure (Mom on the rug, walking in), and you get:

At some point today I also saw a balloon with a birthday candle taped to the side of it. I think it's time to up the insurance...

Adventures in Wonderland

On the trip back, half way through a 13-hour flight:
Son: I know what I'm gonna be for Halloween.
Me: That's months away!
Son: No, wait! I'm going to be a beggar.
Daughter: I'm going to be a whiner.
Me: Oh, goodie.
Son: I'll dress up in rags, and beg.
Daughter: And I'll whine about a bunch of stuff! Actually, everything.
Son: Please!! Please!!!
Daughter: Waaaaah. Whine!!

After Day 2 back at school:
Me: How was your day?
Son: Great. I love day two. 'Cause on the first day back, you're all "that guy who went to New Zealand." But the next day, you're just a regular guy. You don't need too much attention.

The Up Side

Son was disgruntled that the day we lost to the international date line was: December 25. He is not impressed that we will get two shots at January 16 as we cross back over the line. However, we have had this conversation every day for over a week, and counting:

Son: Is today a school day back home?

Me: Yep.

Son: Yesssss!

All True

Daughter, on flights to New Zealand:

We can sleep in the plane?

We can eat with a fork, in the plane?

We can pee in the clouds?

Where's Santa? Is he up here now as well?

On arrival in New Zealand, right before passing out from exhaustion:

Oh, it's beautiful!

The cows! Are beautiful!

The sheep!! They're so beautiful!

Look at those hills! They're. So. Beautiful!