You Say Potato, I Say... Something Incomprehensible

TV character: Hubba Hubba Two!
Other TV character: That's jibberish!
Daughter, to me: So, what does that mean: Hubba Hubba Two?
Me: I don't know.
Daughter, in sardonic tone: They just said it's British.

Riiiiight.

Hubby: Cruds.
Son: Dad!
Hubby: What?
Son: You said "cruds."
Hubby: That's not bad.
Son: Oh. Not like "son of a b****"?
Hubby: Uh. Yeah. Not like that.

The Real Deal

Son had Girl over for another playdate. Son, who usually sprints to any table to grab the biggest slice of whatever's on offer, was overheard thus: You take this one. It's bigger, and it has more chocolate on it.

Daughter, skyping with her girlfriend, now living in Korea: Life is weird without you in it.

The Horror!

Angst Moment #1

Daughter: The earth is always turning, isn't it?
Me: Yes it is.
Daughter: So, sometimes we're upside down?
Me: Exactly.
Daughter, with rising hysterical notes: We're upside down... right now! I can feel it!

Angst Moment #2

Voice over loudspeaker: Free sample of jerky at the jerky counter!
Daughter: Do they have beef jerky here?
Me: They have all kinds of jerky here. They even have elk jerky!
Daughter, with rising hysterical notes: Elf jerky??

Real Praise

Me, to Daughter: Well, you look aDORable.
Daughter, irked: I'm not "adorable," like a puppy or a kitty.
Me: Fair enough.
Daughter: But I am adorable like a leaf that blows.

Critical Thinking

Daughter having a bad day at after school pickup, pitches a fit in the back of the car. Son, attempting to calm her down, makes nice and very complimentary comments about her photograph from teacher, which is a class photo of all of them in their Halloween costumes. Daughter is wearing, in the picture, a kimono.

Son: You look really great in this.
Daughter: NO, I DON'T.
Son: You really do!
Daughter: I don't WANT to be a chinese girl when I grow up.
Son. ---?
Daughter. I WANT to be a PONY!

Much Like Our Tax Return

Our spring break hasn't even arrived yet, and it's been "spent" several times over. Somehow, without benefit of a warp in the space-time continuum, we are supposed to :

• Do our taxes (I know, I know);
• Go to Kansas City for writer's workhop (yay);
• Go to St. Louis for two nights for another writer's workshop (yay) this time taking the fam along to do zoo/museum/hotel pool/restaurant/arch things on the side;
• Hook up with family 1 for lazy afternoon of games, letting the kids play and generally run amok;
• Spend a day or two in PJs (because how else will we know it's a break?);
• Get one day at work each;
• Plant a garden;
• Paint the MIL's porch;
• Reorganize, declutter, and generally "spring clean" the joint;
• Take the kids bike riding...
  
  You get the idea. Daughter wrote her own list last night after baths. It said:
  
  Swimming.
  Snow cones [I wasn't going to tell her NOT to use the "w" now, was I?].
  Dentist.
  Remy's house.
  Biking.
  Gardening.
  
  I prefer her list. We still get a garden started, but no tax return to do, and we don't have to go to work at all.