Because It's There

Daughter, reading about Mount Everest: Everest. Everest. That's a funny name.
Me: I suppose so.
Daughter: I can see why it's called "Ever." Because it's the highest mountain of them all. Like "forever." But "rest"? That doesn't make sense. Why not call it "Mount "Forever." Like goodbye, forever! Or: Mount "so long, suckers!"

Critical Thinking

Daughter having a bad day at after school pickup, pitches a fit in the back of the car. Son, attempting to calm her down, makes nice and very complimentary comments about her photograph from teacher, which is a class photo of all of them in their Halloween costumes. Daughter is wearing, in the picture, a kimono.

Son: You look really great in this.
Daughter: NO, I DON'T.
Son: You really do!
Daughter: I don't WANT to be a chinese girl when I grow up.
Son. ---?
Daughter. I WANT to be a PONY!

... And Other Mythical Creatures

Son's note to the Tooth Fairy last night: "Here is my tooth. If you have any teeth of mythical creatures, or gods (Hades, Poseidon, Zeus, etc) please leave them."

The Tooth Fairy (paternal version) was gracious about not having mythical teeth to leave, and while she did point out that gods don't tend to lose teeth, she conceded that son's 6th tooth was indeed beautiful enough to have belonged to "one of the big three."

Son has read The Lightning Thief (great series to read), and now flings around references to the Greek pantheon with ease. The Tooth Fairy is jealous, in fact.

Thanks for voting on the "talent show" poll! Seems we are all singers and jokers, with a bit of stage fright thrown in for good measure. Watch for the new poll, coming soon!

Irony

Son has danced the Snow Dance, invoking all manner of precipitation. But there are more types of snow than dreamt of in his philosophy, and the kind he perhaps invoked is the one that doesn't stick. Or even stay frozen once it hits the ground. It has "snowed," steadily, all day long. Quite pretty, and very visible from inside our respective (oh so un-cancelled) schools.

On another note, tomorrow is one of my fav classes in the Romantic period: the ballad. I get to take in my ipod. Woo hoo!

Fuggedaboudit...

I arrived home late last night, after an on campus event, to find a folded note on my pillow. "To mom" it said, from my daughter.

Inside I found a lovely drawing of two fish swimming toward two hooks which were dangling temptingly in front of them. I was in raptures.

My husband's translation: "Mommy sleeps with the fishes."

And So It Begins...

Children slaved over valentines cards for their respective classes last night.

Daughter's mishap caused tears (hers) frustration (mine) and jubilation (ours): when I turned my back for two seconds she decided not just to write her teacher's name on giant, hersheys heart shaped box of chocs, but to open said box, and rearrange all of the contents, with her hands. She cried, I sighed, and then we all ate chocolate. I know where we can get more.

Son (second grade, you will recollect) announced that he was giving a valentine to a girl in another class: "because it's been all over the school for two years that she likes me, mom, and this will keep her under control."

???

Surprise Ending!

Me: How was your visit to Grandma's this afternoon?
Daughter. Fine. Until she yelled at me. Then, she pushed me down, and called me an Idiot.
Me: ?????
Daughter. Wait... Some of that is a story.

Well, That Complicates Things

Daughter had a wonderful Christmas Polar-Express-style dream that she firmly believes actually happened ("it was a awesome night").

In it, Santa collected her from our house by sleigh, then flew to the school to collect two of her best friends, and then returned her to the house. She was sleepy when he first arrived, but then woke up. Along the way, she discovered:

* Rudolph does not have a red nose, but a white one (it glows)
* His nose is in fact tiny
* Oddly, he flies in the rear of the formation and not in front
* And so do the rest of the reindeer (ie. behind the sleigh)
* Santa doesn't come down chimneys at all! The whole roof just dissolves off the house! So the reindeer can come in too! Because he's magic! He knows what you're thinking!

At the end of the ride, Santa put two gifts into her hands (wrapped in pink paper with Barbies on them: "he noticed that I like pink").

How to:
* tactfully not refer to it as a dream, let alone an abduction
* tactfully explain that Santa was being kind in putting the reindeer in back. Oats give them gas, and while Santa is used to it, three little girls might not be
* explain why her brother wasn't invited: perhaps it was a five year old thing, especially for five year olds?
* get some pink wrapping paper with barbies on it at this late hour? Because, as daughter also explained: "tomorrow and tomorrow after that it's Christmas!"

Euphemistically Speaking

Daughter, in an uncharacteristically genteel moment: "I've gotta go poo... ah... powder my nose."

And on that note, I had fun being interviewed on the radio, yesterday morning. It was all the more fun because it ran right through two of my classes, which at least was planned for. In any case, it was radio mayhem. I spent a lot of time talking piracy (which is not the same as talking like a pirate), and about how Bluebeard wasn't originally--but now sort of is--a pirate. I came home after work and drafted a picture book indulging the piracy side of things. What the heck. Everyone loves pirates! (It's kind of an in joke that the subtitle to my Bluebeard book is "ARG," aka: A Reader's Guide... )

You Can't See Me

Me, to artistic daughter: What a great drawing! What animal is it?
Daughter, gleefully: I'm not telling you until it's all done. How do you spell sheep?