It's West Of... Uh, Where Are We?

Daughter, in non-stop excited babble on the car trip to Kansas City (where it had snowed), for her annual checkup:

Are we in Kansas City? Are those houses Kansas City? Why would anyone live here? It's so crowded! ... Oh! I know. They come here because of the snow. Why do they get to have a snow world and we don't? Are all those people in cars coming to Kansas City too? Are they moving here for the snow? Oh, there's some sun. Are we in California now?

No Fooling Her

Daughter (5): Can I be excused?
Me, to daughter: Eat a bite of your omelette first.
Daughter: Well, I'm making it into shapes.
Me: Yeah, well eat a shape.
Daughter: Okay. But I'll only eat the trapezoid.

***

Son (8) swinging a Christmas ornament in front of his sister: You are getting sleepy. When I click my fingers, you will do whatever I tell you to, for the rest of the day. Got it? [click] Okay, hang this ornament.
Daughter, ignores him.
Son: I said you have to hang this ornament.
Daughter, ignores him.
Son: You are getting sleepy. When I click my fingers, you will do whatever I tell you to, for the next HOUR. Got it?
Daughter, ignores him.

O, Exercise Bike...

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

1. Thou art more lovely than other exercise bikes, having -- like me -- a nice, wide seat.
2. Thou art so quiet, allowing me to hear my netlix movies.
3. Thou art stationary, and stationed right in front of our big, American, example-of-conspicuous-consumption (--like me) TV set.

Shall we live together, you and I?

Bribery

Daughter, arriving at 2am: "Mom, I'm cold."
Daughter in my bed at 3am: "T-e-n spells ten! Hey! Mom! I can spell ten!"
Daughter in my bed at 4am: sits bolt upright, an announces in manner of eureka: "Hey! I can draw fruit!!"
Finally made warm milk for daughter, which worked.
Son, arriving at 6am: "Mom. I'm bored to death."

And this is why they are having a sleepover at grandma's tonight.

Oh Yeah!

Am happily bragging today about my great emailed news from the magazine Appleseeds: my pitch to write a piece on medieval "dirty work" got accepted for one of their upcoming themed issues! Now, how to write a long and interesting piece, and then hack it back into a well- crafted 300 word mini-masterpiece ... I got done with my first example of wonderfully disgusting work and it was already at 344 words, so clearly I should aim for haiku.

The Two Year (k-12) Itch

Son, eating breakfast: I'm not going to school today. Yesterday, I quit.
Me: No you didn't.
Son: I... retired?
Me: Nope.
Son: Oh! I dropped out!
Me: NO, YOU DIDN'T.

Week? What week?

We elected to skip: the city trick or treat, the YMCA trick or treat, and the university safe trick or treat this year in honor of "we survived a play and then got fevers so really, we should stay home in the evening" week. We then celebrated birthay number 8 for Son. Guest of honor at the party: a vulture! and an owl, scorpion, snake and hissing cockroach, all from the university's Nature Reach. I do actually feel like a cool mom, having figured out how to work education into a birthday party... and it was the first one the NR had ever done one, too. There, that's my boast for the day!

We spent many hours this weekend selling boyscout popcorn at the supermarket, outdoors. The boys had many, many opportunities to help folks to their cars and return carts!

And then... there was trick or treating. We had a pega-corn (unicorn with wings) which was son's costume when he was 2, but daughter at 5 can squeeze into it like it's an amazing pair of knickerbockers. She complemented the look with stripy tights. Son wore a skeleton costume, and his bag is also a cloth skeleton with legs and head, so he held it up and told everyone it was his kid brother, a pain in the neck. What hams.

Me, to determinedly trudging daughter, on the walk home: Shall we slow down? We're nearly home.
Daughter. Nope. I have GOT to get to bed!