Things We Learned This Weekend

• Don't buy sewing patterns that cost more than 2.99, because I will cut them wrong;


• Son knows sarcasm ("You made bacon and eggs for breakfast? Who are you, and what have you done with my mom?");


• The "many hands make light work" theory that got over a thousand scouts to Joplin yesterday to help the schools get ready for the extra students they will have (due to the several schools that got destroyed in the May 22 F5 tornado) doesn't really work when: many of those hands are elementary aged, the work is all outdoors, the temperature is 105 degrees, you begin at 10am, and whoever delivered the mulch to the school playgrounds our pack drew had delivered "creatively" at best;


• There are many more lines to repaint on said playgrounds than you'd expect, and the ground is so very, very far away;


• You can drink about 15 bottles of water and never visit the porta-potty once when doing manual labor in a heat wave;


• I am very glad not to have an outdoor job;


• Sometimes the farmer's market eggs have giant chicken embryos in them, with visible chicken feet;


• It's best not to break eggs open over a bowl already containing baking products;


• My diet is working (Daughter: "You're killing Squishy! Squishy is dying! Squisheeeeee!")


• Hubby will work for the scouts without complaint, but throws giant tantrums when doing it at home, like... today.

I've Been Spanked By a Boy Scout

Grocery store dude: Paper or plastic?
Me: [fatal pause] ...
Son: Paper! [turns to me]: Plastic stays in the landfill for ages. Paper is much better for the environment. [Narrowing eyes in accusatory fashion]: And you know that!