Son is lately obsessed with imagined scenarios in which two forces clash. Which would win?
Son: Humans vs. all the spiders in the world.
Me: [Shudder.] Spiders. Humans have to sleep.
Son: What if we didn't?
Me: Then humans. But if we won, there'd be too many bugs.
Son: What if we left some of the big and most poisonous spiders to be carnivores?
Me: [Shudder.] Let's not.
Son: Yoda vs. Dumbledore.
Me: I don't think they'd fight.
Son: But what if they did? I'm betting on Dumbledore. He can do levi corpus.
Me: Yoda can levi his own corpus.
Me: Yoda doesn't bear arms.
Son, rolling his eyes: Light sabre, mom.
Me: Okay. I think magic might beat the Force. But the Force is life, and Dumbledore wouldn't do anything anti-Life, so I don't think they'd fight.
Son, rolling his eyes: But what if they did?
Stress is making me a shit person
14 hours ago