Clearly, I'm in a Psych Experiment

Daughter, from the other room: uuuurrrrrhhhhhhha?

Me: I can't hear you!

Daughter, from the other room: UuuurrrrrhhhhhhhA!

Me: I still can't hear you. There are three appliances running in here. If you want to talk to me, come here to do it!

[Five minutes later... high pitched, continuous hum from the other room.]

Me: Is that you making that noise?

Daughter. Oh. So you CAN hear me.

Writing is Obsessive

This morning I read a tweet from an SCBWI colleague, who posted (at midnight) that she was in bed with her manuscript. And I understood completely, since I was up too early and pondering the same book mapping exercise that she is undertaking. We're all slaves to a homework assignment posed by Cheryl Klein, editor extraordinaire at Arthur A. Levine books (and she of Harry Potter continuity editing fame). I ordered a copy of her book Second Sight on revision, and it has once again been a paradigm shift of an exercise (and I've only just begun). I guess that is the good thing about revision. Every time I think I have the ms done, I'm back to the drawing board. But the book gets better every time too which, after all, is surely the point.

Because It's There

Daughter, reading about Mount Everest: Everest. Everest. That's a funny name.
Me: I suppose so.
Daughter: I can see why it's called "Ever." Because it's the highest mountain of them all. Like "forever." But "rest"? That doesn't make sense. Why not call it "Mount "Forever." Like goodbye, forever! Or: Mount "so long, suckers!"

Next Stop: the UN

Me: Baths, and bed.
Son: But...I thought you said we could watch some of a movie?!
Me: That was before you two began screaming at each other.
Son, to Daughter: Quick! Truce!
Daughter in reply: [Screeeaaaaaaaaam!] Leave me alone!!
Son, to Daughter: No, you don't understand! Truce!
Daughter: I don't know what that is.
Son: It means we have to get along, or we can't watch a movie! You want to watch a movie, don't you?
Daughter, suspiciously: With you?
Son: Well, yeah.
Daughter, shaking hands: Okay. "Truce."

Overheard a few minutes later...
Daughter: Screeeaaam!
Son: Remember! We're getting along? Movie?
Daughter: Oh. Yeah.

Sometimes, One Exclamation Mark Just Doesn't Do It

Daughter, opening parcel: Pony mosaic! PONY! It's so sparkly!!
Son, teasing daughter AND quoting Despicable Me: "It's so fluffy!!!!!!!"
Daughter, in a sardonic tone: That's so last season.

A Vastly Underrated Tense

Son: I'm hungry. I hardly ate any dinner. And I had no dessert either.
Me: Then eat something.
Son: Okay. And that thing was mostly true.
Me: What thing?
Son: About dinner and dessert.
Me: ... Well, I expect that most things you tell me will be at least "mostly true."
Son: Then: so it shall be!

***

Me: Could you clear the table?
Son: Never fear, Mother! It shall be done!

That's What I Would Have Called Her

Daughter, in tub: Mom, will you get in with me?
Me: Nope. I had a shower this afternoon. I'm good.
Daughter: Please?
Me: Not tonight.
Daughter, sounding desperate: But... I need someone heavy so the water will go up over the jets!
Me: Oh... So that's what this is about? You need water displacement?
Daughter: No! It's about me being your little angel.