Elementary, Dear Watson

Quite apart from the new Sherlock Holmes, which is tres fun, this is logical problem solving second grader-style:

Son: You know, only one percent of the water on the planet is drinkable. We'll really be in trouble if we don't look after it.
Daughter: We can just drink milk then.
Son: What will the cows drink? They need water too. And for grass. One day, there'll be no cows.
Daughter: So then, we'll just have to learn to milk a walrus.

Why Don't Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late is a Palpable Hit

This book is justly famous and wonderful. And here's why.

Daughter, far past bedtime: Is there another meaning for "lean." Not like "lean on me," but "fat and lean"?
Me: Yes. Now go to sleep.
Daughter: I'm lean. Brother is lean. You're... kind of lean.
Me: Go to sleep.
Daughter: Dad... Well, he isn't fat, exactly. But he isn't lean, either.
Me: Enough already.
Daughter: Hey! I'm asking some pretty good questions here!

[Still Later.]
Daughter: Did Brother's tummyache get better?
Me: Go to sleep.
Daughter: I know! [sitting up in bed, eureka style] I'll make him a Get Well Card!


Here, on the other hand, is why there should also be another Mo Willems treasure, called Don't Let the School Give Up Early. (Or if you prefer, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Summer Vacation.)
Note, sent home this week from third grade. "We have a lot of activities going on this week! Tuesday, AR points Pizza Party! Wednesday, Reading Celebration! Trip to Mini-Golf. Thursday: Wings party! Health Party! and AR Points, Ice Cream Party! Next week I have attached a number of notes for activities. Monday is a school-wide luau. Please send beach towels marked with your child's name. Also, I will take our class fishing next week. Please return permission slips!

Please help your child stay focused in school this week as we have several tests for grade cards."

Next Stop: the UN

Me: Baths, and bed.
Son: But...I thought you said we could watch some of a movie?!
Me: That was before you two began screaming at each other.
Son, to Daughter: Quick! Truce!
Daughter in reply: [Screeeaaaaaaaaam!] Leave me alone!!
Son, to Daughter: No, you don't understand! Truce!
Daughter: I don't know what that is.
Son: It means we have to get along, or we can't watch a movie! You want to watch a movie, don't you?
Daughter, suspiciously: With you?
Son: Well, yeah.
Daughter, shaking hands: Okay. "Truce."

Overheard a few minutes later...
Daughter: Screeeaaam!
Son: Remember! We're getting along? Movie?
Daughter: Oh. Yeah.

She Should Do Internet Security

This blog post brought to you by persistent jet lag (why else would I be up at 5am?):

Daughter, to Son: You have to guess the password.
Son: Cake.
Daughter: Nope.
Son: Hullabaloo.
Daughter: Nuh uh.
Son: Wrestling.
Daughter: No.
Son: Forest.
Daughter: Nope.
Son, leaving: Okay, well, I have to go somewhere and fart now.
Daughter: That's IT!!!

The Up Side

Son was disgruntled that the day we lost to the international date line was: December 25. He is not impressed that we will get two shots at January 16 as we cross back over the line. However, we have had this conversation every day for over a week, and counting:

Son: Is today a school day back home?

Me: Yep.

Son: Yesssss!

Like Apollo 13, But With More Duct Tape

You take this:

And one each, of these:

You send this guy to the office, for boxes:

And you can make this: a cat condo, with 3 storeys, a big-screen TV, and a gift shop in the lobby.