I'm Easily Played

My kids are on summer time. Nonetheless, when Daughter popped out of bed rubbing her eyes, after 9.30pm and for the umpteenth time , I wasn't thrilled.

Me, in Big Voice: What do you need now?
Daughter, in Tiny Voice: Umm... where are the library books? So I can practice my reading? [bats her eyelashes].
Me, in Regular Voice: They're piled on the desk.
Me, in Thought Bubble: Well played.

What Are We Feeding Them, Anyway?

Daughter, at breakfast, in musing tone and a propos of nothing: What I don't understand is why hippopotamuses have their head so low. It's like they have no necks.

Son, at dinner, in slightly accusatory tone and a propos of nothing: I now know what you and dad did to make me.

Like Indiana Jones... but with more screaming.

Son, in back of car yesterday afternoon, musing about school: Well, that part was boring.
Daughter: Don't include me.
Son: What?
Daughter: I'm not boring.
Son: No, not at all. You're not boring. You're a whole different adventure.

Yikes!

Daughter, at dinner: Am I dreaming? No, really. Am I?
Son: Well, if you are then maybe this won't hurt.

Are We There Yet?

• Valentine's Tea party at the library... check.
• Valentines written, candied, and delivered to two classes... check.
• Valentine's chocolates to teachers... check.
• Birthday cookies ordered for the day prior to birthday so as not to get lost in the class Valentine party shuffle... check.
• Class Valentine parties... check, check. (Oh, the madness.)
• Valentine's candy bags brought home: sugar orgy... check.
• Birthday presents wrapped, delivered, opened, to the accompaniment of singing, and sushi for dinner... check.
• Birthday cake for party collected from bakery in town doing a booming Valentine's weekend business... check.
• Treat bags (no candy, because mommy can't take it anymore) made and ready for party... check.
• House cleaned, hot dogs and cakes and ice cream at the ready, awaiting the pitter patter of fifteen sets of kindergarteners' feet... check.
• Daughter, every five minutes: When are they coming? Is the party NOW? ... check.
• Hubby's Valentine card and present ready, stashed in a drawer ... check.
• Mother-in-law's chastisement (You're going to a writing group in Kansas City on Valentine's Day???) ... check.
  

Nervous, high fructose corn syrup- laden breakdowns: still pending. Check please!

The Eleventh Hour

Since we were all a-scramble to get the pinewood derby cars and rockets ready to race last Saturday, we have left other things undone. Last Friday night, we were still adding wheels to cars, and sorting out rocket propellers. The results were as follows:
Son's rocket placed 4 out of 4 in his den. Son cried.
Son's car placed 3rd out of 10 in his den. Son gets to race at Districts. Son wants to know how to make the car go faster yet. Parents wonder why Son didn't care about that last week.
Daughter's car won the popular vote for "most colorful car" out of all the entries... some 40 cars. Daughter was at pinnacle of happiness.

Now, it is Wednesday night. The eve of the science fair. Parents divided and "conquered." I let hubby pick the child. He picked Son, and his gravity project. Daughter and I got to work on her trifold: "What spiders eat."

I spent some time staring, horrified and unable to turn away, at computer images of spiders eating things. Like: a bird. (Hubby's comment: "That's Australia for you." He can say such things, being married to a kiwi wife.) Daughter roller painted her trifold with pink glitter paint. She has adhered lacy cutout webs, drawn spiders sidling up to flies, and typed or wrote all her labels. Things hang off her trifold from poorly rolled scotch tape that daughter insists is the way to adhere paper to glittery, shiny trifold. Points to OCD parent for not interfering.

Hubby played while the sun shone. Son also played. Right this minute, at fifteen minutes past bedtime, Son is dressed and messing with helium balloons. Hubby is desperately trying to explain how gravity is acting on mass.

I feel superior. However, the snow is coming, and there are terrific odds the science fair will be canceled.

O, Exercise Bike...

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

1. Thou art more lovely than other exercise bikes, having -- like me -- a nice, wide seat.
2. Thou art so quiet, allowing me to hear my netlix movies.
3. Thou art stationary, and stationed right in front of our big, American, example-of-conspicuous-consumption (--like me) TV set.

Shall we live together, you and I?

Bribery

Daughter, arriving at 2am: "Mom, I'm cold."
Daughter in my bed at 3am: "T-e-n spells ten! Hey! Mom! I can spell ten!"
Daughter in my bed at 4am: sits bolt upright, an announces in manner of eureka: "Hey! I can draw fruit!!"
Finally made warm milk for daughter, which worked.
Son, arriving at 6am: "Mom. I'm bored to death."

And this is why they are having a sleepover at grandma's tonight.

Didn't See That One Coming

Daughter has instituted Friday Fries-day, but prefers home baked fries so I'm fine with it. Still, did not expect this line at dinner last night (and what if it was true?):
Daughter: "Wow. No, for real. I put the fry in my mouth and then BAM. My destiny changed."

Some Days are Long

I take a deep breath, turn to daughter at the dinner table, and ask: "So, tell me some more about your day" in a perky voice. Son, 7 but going on... older, says with cheerful composure: "Well. You seem to be regaining some patience!" I respond: "good use of 'regain.'" And add, only in my head: "now go to bed."

Summer Lovin', Had me a Blast

When Mother's Day has been a tough act to follow (rare, but in this instance it happened), Father's Day has to really blow it out of the water. Cue: Home Depot, 12 month credit, and eight hours (over two days) to outfit the hubby's Game Room in the backyard. At one point, when he suggested jokingly in our four hour purchasing odyssey yesterday that he might have to reconsider the color of the vinyl siding that he'd just spent an hour special ordering, he followed up with: "It'd be all over then, wouldn't it!" "Yep," I said. "Then it'd be my writing room in the back yard..." Mother's Day had better be mediocre next year or 1) I'm hosed and 2) we'll be broke!

Have been feasting on middle grade and YA fiction. Very much enjoying the Fablehaven trilogy. Loved Rick Riordan's last Percy Jackson (The Last Olympian). Just read Meg Rosoff's The Way I Live Now, which was very cool. And have discovered Janet Taylor Lisle (Afternoon of the Elves, have just received two others of hers in the mail). Have The Horn Book, will travel.